Feels Like We Only Go Backwards
by benedictcucumberpatch
Summary: He can't help but watch, and think about what they could have been. (name is from the Tame Impala's song.)
1. Mistakes and Laughs

_**A/N: Song for this chapter is 'Sunset' by the xx.**_

It seemed so strange to see her here, in their place. Except, it wasn't theirs anymore, because she was with another man, seemingly able to completely erase him from her memories. He'd come up here in an attempt to escape these feelings, and yet he'd ended up exactly where she was. And while she was celebrating, he was reeling.

**_mistakes and laughs_**

_Nervous didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling tonight. What if this date just turned out like all the others, with nothing even coming of it? Surely there was something more to her, because something didn't quite fit. Something was there. Something was tugging at his insides, and he wouldn't rest until he knew what it was. Maybe taking someone to a work function on the first date wasn't quite the norm, but it would have to do. For now._

Perhaps he was the fool for not seeing it sooner. The way she hesitated, unable to look him in the eyes whenever he said those three little words. Her looking away seemed so natural, he simply adjusted. Held back his own hesitation, refused to mention anything to do with it, because he'd secretly hoped it was only his own mind playing games on him. He had rejoiced when she'd finally told him, and then broke down when he'd realised it wasn't meant for him. And yet, despite his distraught fighting to move on, his mind was filled with this melancholy, longing for memories that were long gone.

_**A/N: Hey guys! No time, no see, right? Well, I'm back! Almost... I'm going away again in a few weeks so I'm hoping to get this up and finished by the time I leave. For anyone wondering - it's Miracle-centric, but it doesn't actually really follow Miracle. I guess. So yeah, if you don't like Miracle (or Mike), sorry :( Also, sequel to My Hart Will Go On is coming soon! Promise it'll be up soon, hopefully before I leave on the 1st. **_

**_Sofie xx_**


	2. White Wine and Black Dresses

_**A/N: The song for this chapter is 'Shark' by Oh Wonder.**_

**_white wine and black dresses_**

_If he'd said his heart wasn't pounding, God knows he'd be lying. It took all his self control to stop his hands from just shaking and spilling his wine all over him, and her couch. 'Keep it together,' he thought to himself, smiling nervously. He had already discovered she was beyond different, she certainly wasn't any of his previous girlfriends. If he was being honest with himself, he'd admit to the fact that he was exactly like previous girlfriends. Boring, dreary, and seemingly uneasy about everything, nothing ever seemed clear. _

_She was. She was content with herself, and despite her seemingly endless antics, she seemed to be herself. The conversation came to a halt, and he panicked. This was typical for him, not knowing what to say, but he attempted to not let it show. His hand gently stroked away strands of mousey brown hair, thoughts drawn all to how breathtaking she'd looked. Shame he hadn't been able to tell her, because the only way he'd been able to describe it was 'lovely'._

_But somehow, his lips brushed quickly against hers. It emphasised that there was something there, something more than both of them had thought. They broke away from each for a few seconds, each second becoming unbearably longer than the one before it, when they met again. A first kiss was often awkward, often begging for something to go wrong, but not for them. It was the first connection, what he'd hoped would be the first of many._

He blinked achingly, his hand adjusting his glasses briefly but wishing he hadn't, because now he could see clearly again. Now, he could see them. Had he really been that inferior, so insignificant and inept?

"Sir, are you waiting for someone?"

Mike turned in surprise and disorientation. Lost in his own world, not even realising that he'd been here for more than half an hour. He shook his hand. "No, I don't think so, but can I get a glass of water?" The waiter hurried off, leaving him alone again.


	3. Failings and Confessions

**_A/N: Song is 'The Rain' by Oh Wonder._**

**_failings and confessions_**

_He knew that she'd be surprised when she found out that he'd stayed back, especially after what his father had said. Well, Mike hadn't necessarily meant to blurt what he had felt then and there, but somehow it just all came slipping out._

_"You waited?"_

_He nodded, giving a small smile. "Why wouldn't I?"_

_Miranda laughed. As if he didn't already know. "The disaster that was my dinner party, my ability to embarrass you and and your father, and my spiel about fruit friends?"_

_He took small steps over to where she was desperately attempting to scrub a burnt pasta pot, and placed his hand on her shoulder. Her head turned around slowly, as he pulled her closer. _

_"Do you know that I meant what I said?"_

_Miranda tilted her in slight confusion. "Meant what?"_

_"Everything."_

_"Oh," she said, an embarrassed smile on her face. "I probably should have expected that you were going to say that, Marple." She took his hand, and looked into his eyes. Adoration, affection, and admiration… could she ask for more? _

_"I love you, Quirky. More than you know." Their lips met again, unable to think of anything else._

"Mike?" His eyes darted away from his drink, and met Stevie's. What was she doing here? Could this get any worse? "I haven't seen you in, what, three years? What are you doing here?"

"Avoiding emotions," he replied apprehensively, turning his chair round. "I'm fairly certain my girlfriend just stood me up."

Stevie grimaced, an apologetic look plastered on her face. "This is their favourite pub." He knew exactly who she was referring to, and let out a small sigh.

"Well, I wonder who introduced her to it in the first place."


End file.
